A Conflict

For the last two days the relationship between me, myparents and my husband has been deteriorated. It was actually a real tiny trigger, a person whose being regarded as a member of the family, which is actually not...considering he's been followed my dad since 1999 ago. Companying him and Mum everywhere, he is "appointed" as a driver, no more less..
Well, since then he is a loyal and devoted member who companied Dad everywhere.When the hotel was established, he's also worked there. Acting as a general procurement, he's been helping in almost all of department. Since the hotel was not that professional yet, he can be a great helper.But this condition made him taking advantage of Dad's sincerity and dependence, i.e: slept in rooms of the hotel and used phone excegingly...Both me and my husband were so angry about that. we couldn't accept what so ever...However, Dad showed a contradictory. He seems to have sides on him... then there were quarrels...though we apologized, for we realized we are only children, one of a duty of children is to cheer up their parents...

One Day on A Meeting

I couldn't recall when was the last time I went to a meeting. Last three months? last five months? or was it on last two years? I don't know when is the exact time. Anyway, when I attended a meeting today, in my office, certainly, as usual I don't know what to say. I kept on silent. Though I was talking around, I talked to the one next to me, or my other neighbours. Never contributing. Call me ignorant, dull, or whatever, every meeting I've attended, I've never spoken to respond about the agenda. All I've done were; sitting, listening, mumbling around, signing the attendance list. That's all. In my mind, regular event such this is boring, ineffective, and a formality that would not result any changes.Today, it was a surprise for me. Once my boss explained the new program for next year, we all listened. Then he talked about the quality of staff, which is, for me, already intricated that needs solution. For a while he's talking on the other way around, saying the staff are already competent and performed good quality. Then he kept on talking about this for some time. Then suddenly I was interrupting. I was not agree about this. I don't agree at all. Totally disagree!!Hah!!how on earth could we perform the good quality while we have only three or four products on sale??Goodness....I was that mad until I didn't realize I was going on talking and talking about this. And people went on like: "whooah......, now she's talking....what a surprise...she's not a dumb doll anymore...!!"...and the like.....There it goes....Now I am contributing.....

Seminar and Workshop

There were one national seminar and one workshop for this week. Quite hectic. Joined those activities, left the family, especially my little princess.The seminar was two days(plus one day out/excursion to Toronipa Beach), held in Athaya Hotel; "Seminar Nasional Bahasa Dan Sastra; Konsistensi Berbahasa..."(forgot the rest..).And one workshop on teaching methodology at Language Center. For that reason, I didn't attend any classes this week, consequently. Felt guilty, though. What do I get?

Perhaps

PERHAPS
 
Perhaps, I draw a thousand labyrinths in your life
For I would never know how deep you’ve fallenI apologize
Whilst happiness, as appear in my very eyes, is a wink,
I, with naïve prayers, strive to bridge you to everlasting contentment,
With my utmost
“There have been struggles to preserve our love, then let there love be”I keep in mind 
Perhaps, I swathe Thee with my mist silk
For you might be vulnerable from irritable agony
I do care
If I could shower Thee; snow from winter nucleus,
Then I will be fulfilled
Perhaps, I should transform and be your every breath
So distance fade away
 
Perhaps, I could only weep since
My tears will sing a never-ending chant
My imminent song shall moan our new expected sunrise, beyond zillions of rainbows
 
 
October, 2004

Endless Seasons

Endless seasons
 
Dawn is blinking in autumn night
Shall leave the feast of summer
When brown maple leaves touch the earth
Will send but a mere rejoice
 
Then winter is frenzy; a mixture of black and white,
I pass nights with haunted memories
Like a ghost or,
An interlocutor
Stood up silent

But cold winds substitute my ancient scare
Blowing to a romantic spring
condensed with blooming daffodils or scents of jasmines, and jacaranda and bunches of rose
Yellow, white, purple, red
splendid

Thy set rainbows in my pale garden
Cheering thousands lonesome doves
And kindest wishes through,
As mine they bear to you
Though there is angst shadowing
With dreams and hopes accompanying,
“Will this be eternal?” 
“Nay, let’s trust the untold time”
For Thy shall bring
Four seasons in me,
Will be everlasting and
celebrating this feeling

@azha, 2002